Seeking Validation

 

Seeking validation literally means seeking approval of others' opinions, thoughts or an agreement with what you say or do on a daily  basis. 

As human beings, we are wired to be in a social setting and hence, believe to receive approval or validation in most aspects of our lives. Usually there is a tendency to seek approval from the opposite sex and at every stage of our human life, we want support and attention and this need starts from our childhood. For every child that seeks validation from their parents, family members and even friends. Seeking healthy validation is extremely important and this is a process that we learn as and when we grow.

When a child doesn't receive the emotional support and the desired love it expects, it tends to overachieve itself, thereby affecting their long-term goals, important life decisions, their friendships and also their stability in relationships. Such children also tend to walk on eggshells and never seem to feel at comfort in any space. With time, they also develop anxiety and burn out as they exert themselves physically and mentally to the point of disrupting their mental health. 

These children usually also look for constant attention and emotional support when they become adults and it also over-burdens their friends and partners, since they consider them as their source of happiness. They constantly seek reassurance from their loved ones too.  They become chronic overthinkers, people pleasers and even overachievers who are mentally unhappy and do not know the art of self-love. These people also tend to get emotionally attached to their work, and believe all the opinions of their superiors about themselves and tend to over-work to keep their bosses happy too. 

The end result of all this is trauma. The unhealed childhood trauma which makes you a wounded adult and you end up having multiple health issues too. 

The best way to seek healthy validation is accept or seek validation from outside, but to seek it from your inner self. You will only learn to validate yourself when you learn to love yourself, for the way you are, the way you look and just everything about yourself. 

If you want to introspect, the best way to move forward is to practice spirituality, practicing mindfulness, being self-aware and doing physical exercise as well.

These are some things which might help you to function better on a daily basis, but I will write about how to face your trauma and work on fixing your emotional wounds in my next article. 

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